Post by Sidious on Jun 24, 2005 19:17:19 GMT -5
The inferno replacing the vortex.
Shadows heart, always seeks connections.
One drunken night, it placed me back on online dating sites.
Nothing it did think it sought, would it find or even
be allowed to find,
And weeks passed, alchol it consumed,
wallowing in self pity, denial, belief i didnt know how to please.
Or love, or make a woman smile.
Then a reply one such place did bring me.
Something about this person, her look her interests told me to correspond.
Something about me told me not to bother, that I didnt need anyone, when I knew I did.
So again, born of conlfict of heart and mind, shadows vortex of a heart debated.
Till the heart it longed, and all inhabitons abated.
Soon this writer, another artist, another troubled soul with darkened pasts would inspire me,
I held onto chances for more email, till we had both heard are voices,
Then the impulvise wild me, decided we needed to meet,
my logic caused my heart to skip a beat.
A day of burning heat, a heart that wasnt sure, a mind on a level beyond my own, that my mind wanted to serve, to learn from.
I believed everything i said portrayed me as a charlatan, one who wasnt a good writer, historian, or scholar of life,
Yet still I ended up in her arms for a night,
Yet still i gave her passion and she didnt take flight,
So i decided I would not let my mind or logic argue,
I would not be scared to loose her so not to get involved,
And though its early days yet, my vortex is gone, and an inferno burns again, yet it is like so many before but unlike many.
Shes shy, yet shes slightly wild,
Shes witty, slightly zany, yet deep and profound,
Shes tortured but has grown of it and moves forward.
Shes appreciative of every little gesture of affection,
but doesnt demand it or expect it.
Shes qualites of each of those whose preceded her,
She scares me, inspires me, holds me in her sway.
She challenges me, and gives me something i cant explain, something ive never felt before,
Not love, not lust, not passion, Shes the counterfoil to everything my minds wanted.
I pray, I hope, my vortex of a heart wont hurt, push away or deny her it all.
And yet again I say, for each heart this heart has held, I thank each and every one, for the next i was right, i dont think knows what hit her, Im happy im ecstatic Im delighted, i feel so young again.
Andy Spruce 25 June 2005.
Happier i hope than the last round, though a little mushy, and the first ever sequel poem ive wrote.